3
o c t o b e r 2 0 2 2
Carol
Beder's
Now that all the kids have graduated college, this Fall marks the first time
in about a quarter of a century that my husband and I have no children
going back to school. I feel like I'm watching a favorite movie... and someone
keeps pushing the "forward" button on the remote control. "No, wait!
Rewind!!!" I think to myself. There's no back-to-school shopping, no little
kids in our house calling their friends to ask, "Who'd (which teacher did) you
get?!!" No figuring out dorm arrangements, no worries about off-campus
housing, transportation, no registering for away-from-home health care.
Some friends asked me recently how I felt about our new chapter. There
are things that I don't miss, like the stress of it all, remembering a million
details, homework and scheduling frustrations, worrying if they make the
team, etc. My husband and I do miss our former-babies and also their
friends, but we very much enjoy our adult kids and hearing about their
lives, while realizing that our responsibilities, other than loving support,
are gone. I often think, Parenting is the only job that, if all goes well and if
you do your job well, you will soon find yourself out of a job.
In October, I no longer worry about what kind of cupcakes to bring to the
Spruce Run class Halloween Party, nor do I worry about what costumes
to buy, make or pull together for my children. Our house has a long, dark
and kind-of-creepy driveway, so the days of having trick-or-treaters show
up at our doorstep are over. Our oldest son said that trick-or-treaters
would only come to our house on a dare.
For a lot of you, as it was in our house for several years, Halloween
has also now kind of evolved into "Crank out the College Applications
Eve," since Early Decision applications are usually due on the first of
November, or used to be. This was quite terrifying, in a very different
sort of way, for both high school seniors and their parents. While small
princesses, goblins, and pint-sized batmen show up at the door nibbling
on Twizzlers and Hershey bars, our teens were upstairs grinding away
on those application essays.
Of course, the simpler days, as most parents of young children will tell
you, weren't so simple. I remember one year I took my youngest (decked
out as Buzz Lightyear) trick-or-treating in a wagon, covered in blankets
to protect him from the cold while he battled asthma. (To Infinity... or just
around the block, as the case may be.) Meanwhile, our older two kids
went running far ahead with their friends, crossing the street randomly
in the dark, dodging rush-hour neighborhood traffic, while hopped-up on
candy and adrenaline. It's funny, isn't it? We warned our children not to
take candy from strangers, and then took them all over the neighborhood
and/or Township... begging for candy from strangers. I think college
applications, come to think of it, were less scary.
While there are no ecstatic little kids in our house now, and no Halloween
candy either, we'll still enjoy the holiday, I hope you all
enjoy yours and have a safe and Happy Halloween!
-Julie Flynn
DAYS TO KEEP IN MIND
Saturday October 1 International Music Day
Sunday October 2 International Day of Non-Violence
Monday October 3 Child Health Day
Tuesday October 4 Feast of St Francis of Assisi
Tuesday October 4 Yom Kippur
Wednesday October 5 World Teachers' Day
Monday October 10 Columbus Day (Most regions)
Monday October 10 Native Americans Day
Saturday October 15 National Grouch Day
Monday, October 28, 1929: " Black Monday" (Stock Market Crash)
Monday October 31 Halloween
"I wish that every day was Saturday
and every month was October."
~ Charmaine J. Forde
