Clinton Township Newsletter

1 A p r i l 2 0 1 7 I'm so tired of reading articles about how you need to sleep six hours or more every night (but never more than eight) if you want to reset your body and brain to stay healthy – which you must do or risk an early death (not possible for me), excessive stress and all sorts of chronic inflamation. Without enough sleep, supposedly you become mor e vulnerable to cognitive decline, heart disease, Type 2 diabetes and even pain. I would never argue with the sleep professionals, but what they recommend to achieve this six-hour dreamland simply does not work for me. It's like holding a piece of rare filet mignon just out of reach and telling me it is the answer to my hunger pangs. I want to sleep. I do. But the question remains: HOW? Apparently, sleep-deprived mice nod off with certain drugs. I've tried Tylenol PM, Unisom, Nyquil, etc. and, although they definitely cause me to clunk out within an hour or so, they also cause me to doze during breakfast the next morning and perform daily tasks with a pronounced sluggishness. And realizing this stuff can cause permanent liver damage tends to keep me awake at night. Chronic snorers deprive their brains of oxygen and many use sleep-apnea machines. When Fred was alive he snored loud enough to set off the Lebanon Boro fire alarm. I found that whacking him on the head and pulling his pillow out from under his head worked remarkably well and certainly saved money on machines. So far my lack of sleep habit hasn't triggered depression, mental illness, bipolar disorder or a manic episode. I doubt anyone would notice any difference in my behavior if I contracted any of the above symptoms. Worrying about the possibility, however, doesn't encourage restful nights. There are gadgets to help us poor sleepers. SENSE is a voice-activated alarm clock that comes with a SLEEP PILL – a sensor you clip on your pillow that lets you keep track of how long you sleep and its quality. Results would start me on the road to depression for sure. There is an AROMATHERAPHY DIFFUSER that emits a lavender scent which is supposed to assist non- sleepers. For only $299 you can buy a ZEEQ pillow with vibrating panels and tiny speakers designed to improve your rest. (For me that's too much like having another husband). Sleep still mystifies scientists. My goal is to get to sleep, stay asleep and wake up refreshed. Just as importantly, I want to eliminate a series of dreams that cause me to wake in a sweat. It's probably much too late in my life to accomplish these feats so I'm going to settle for a nap on otherwise idle afternoons. I'll let you know if that works. ZZZZZZZZ to all! Having grown up in Florida, the entire year just seemed, weather- wise, like a long drawn-out summer. Occasionally it could get cold, and sometimes even very cold (or so it seemed to us Floridians), but mostly it was hot. Spring crept up on us. Hmm, more azaleas than usual? Is it a bit sunnier than usual? Is February too early for shorts? As a teen, my friends and I would hang out on the beach every weekend starting in February – no big deal. Between classes in school, we would lie out in the sun, having first applied baby oil liberally to our arms, legs and faces. By Easter we always had a decent tan going which, by the way, is reason #67 why I'm aging in dog-years. Change that to reason #1, I suppose. When I first came to New York for college with only a denim jacket to protect me from the cold, my suitemates, all a bit more world wise and North-adept, got a good chuckle when I insisted that jacket was enough. Despite the cold NYC could dish out, I would be fine. Needless to say, I wasn't fine, I was freezing. As soon as the temperature dropped in, oh, week-two of September that year – I ran out and bought the absolutely warmest winter coat I could find. To this day, winter coats are one of my favorite wardrobe staples, and I now have several. When my northern friends comment about my winter coat collection, I say "See, I never actually had a winter coat growing up and..." and then I get a chorus of, "You poor thing!" Once I mention that I grew up in Florida, all sympathy stops abruptly. (Perhaps I should just leave out that last part of the story.) These past three years have been the warmest on record. Before you know it, we'll be calling ourselves the Sunshine State. In late February this year, I noticed that the crocuses made their grand appearance. However, as of this writing (in mid-March), we are getting walloped with snow, and I am so ready for Spring! The daffodils and forsythia, the hyacinths, the flowering trees and the peonies will soon burst forth and, when that happens, I can't remember why I would ever consider leaving our beautiful state. When we're shoveling snow, however, it's a different story. On a different note, this month begins with "April Fool's Day" – don't let it end that way also. Watch your back doors and your front doors too. If you see something, say something, and don't hesitate to call the police. And remember, the IRS does not call people looking for money (for more on that, see the article about tax scams and emails on pages 26 and 28). I hope you have a Happy Easter, a Happy Passover, a Happy Earth Day and, especially, a Happy Spring! – Julie Fl�nn "If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?" ~ Percy Bysshe Shelley Jie Fly, Edit Since 1982 Don't Miss Clinton Township's Spring Egg Hunt & Wagon Parade Saturday, April 8 at 10:00 am at Bundt Park!

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