Clinton Township Newsletter

1 D e c e m b e r 2 0 1 6 Jie Fly, Edit Since 1982 I know for sure that St. Nick is waiting in the wings when Hammacher Schlemmer's holiday catalog hits my mailbox. It arrives about the time Macy's is filled with brightly lit Christmas trees – late September. Halloween candy corn (which appeared in August) has gone stale on the supermarket shelves . It's not easy focusing on Santa Claus when I'm still wearing shorts and cranking up the air conditioning every afternoon. However, Hammacher Schlemmer never fails to come through with unusual gifts for everyone. Consider adding a few of the following to your Christmas lists: The Virtual 60 Game Pinball Arcade - $4000 + $190 for mailing costs. This is a must for anyone in Clinton Township with kids over the age of 8 years and includes kids over 50 as well. Here's a chance to immerse yourself in pre-installed games including Star Wars and Captain America. Think what an impression this will make on dinner guests. – an Arcade whose authentic sounds reproduce the clack of solenoids and the thunks of flippers. Hard to resist, huh? The Prismatic Light Show Tree - $499.95 + S&H If you are too cheap and pass on the Arcade, you might want to consider a Christmas tree that generates 23 unique, synchronized white and multi-colored light shows that "dance along the conifer's branches with an auroral effect". Whatever that is I don't think this is a real, live tree but it is guaranteed to make your neighbors green with envy. And it's only 1/8 the price of an Arcade. What a bargain! The Child's Motorized Personal Transporter - $249.95 + S$H This is a gift I know you will want for each and every child in your home ages 6 and up. It's a stand-up vehicle operated via a foot pedal accelerator and accelerates to a mere 3.7 mph. No cause to worry about crashing into furniture or kids having minor concussions. There are even stickers included so the little ones can customize their rides. Don't let the dreaded "assembly required" deter you from investing in this one-of-a-kind treasure. King Sheets - $339.95 PER SHEET Last chance to ease sleeping problems with a sheet made from fabric clinically proven to counteract afflictions that can rob you of a good night's sleep. Strands of Celliant enhanced with Titanium Dioxide convert body heat into infrared light. Apparently you can conk out 18.3 minutes faster (than what or whom?). This is a must for Newsletter insomniacs who value shut eye regardless of cost. If you can afford to pay Clinton Township property taxes, these outstanding Christmas gift ideas shouldn't be problem. Make your purchases on the months that your quarterly taxes aren't due and your wallet will hardly notice any difference. I'm just trying to be helpful!! Happy Holidays! It was ten years ago this month that we brought our oldest child home from the hospital after a life-threatening illness. Emotionally and physically exhausted, I spent part of my bedside vigil thinking I might have to tell our younger kids that Santa just couldn't pull it together for our family that year. Our daughter would get it. She was pretty wise to the situation ever since years earlier Santa gave her an Easy-Bake Oven that she saw me (semi-serreptitiously) buy at Toys-R-Us (oops!). But our youngest still had some years of innocence ahead of him, we hoped. The day we returned home from the hospital our youngest, after watching one of the millions of kids' holiday shows questioning the existence of Santa, looked me in the eye, blinking hard, and begged me to level with him. After the wrenching period we had just endured, I had neither the heart nor the energy to fabricate further, so I told him the truth. Naturally he was crushed, and then I felt terrible. Our oldest had been aware from a young age, since I fessed up too early as my mother had with me. At age four or so my Santa/ delivery/logistical questions started (as they always inevitably do) and my Mom, George Washington-like, answered, "I can't lie to you anymore!" and the jig was up. I remember feeling disappointed that particular day; yet relieved the very next day when my sister decided to spill the beans to me. I shrugged and was able to respond, feigning indifference, "Yeah. I knew that." I've always tried to emphasize the "true" meaning of Christmas in our house, and de-emphasize the material aspect. I express to the kids not only my personal traditional viewpoint (which always sparks interesting debates within our household) but also the simple fact that holidays at this time are mostly about family and friends, not gifts and wish lists. Despite the paradigmatic shift in our house that year, or maybe because of it, our family was able to enjoy Christmas more than any other in our history because, as the song says, we all were able to be together. Our son was alive and his future health looked promising. My husband and I aged about ten years that December, but our kids received a first-hand lesson about priorities. And Santa did in fact rally for us Flynns, delivering presents and filling stockings, the details of which I have no recollection whatsoever. Ever since, the whole Santa/elves/reindeer thing has taken on a life of its own in our house, and our kids feel free to embellish the story as much as they want. I like it too because I'm able to say to them, "You know, Santa actually has a budget." and "Santa's really exhausted!" and "Cut that out, Santa's watching!!!" (and they know that yeah, "Santa" really is watching.) Best of all, when Christmas is over, they each pull me aside and whisper, "Thanks Santa!" Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah – "Christmas Gift Suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect." ~ Oren Arnold December 2016

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